mister john hanley

author of mister faded glory dot com

0 notes

Can you believe it. Can you EVEN BELIEVE IT BRO that Franklin & Bash are back. They’re bad. And they’re ballin’ in season 4.

The recap of Episode 1 is live right here: http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/franklin-bash-the-curse-of-hor-aha-tv-recap/
and how have you not clicked already?!? Spoiler alert, T-Dogg plays a judge during a zombie outbreak during a trial. You’re welcome.

Filed under franklin and bash franklin & bash mark paul gosselaar breckin meyer jared franklin peter bash the walking dead the docket tnt we know drama season 4 tv recaps

2 notes

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/franklin-bash-and-the-mixed-bag-of-life-franklin-bash-greatest-hits/Franklin & Bash and The Mixed Bag of Life [Franklin & Bash Greatest Hits]Well, it’s a summons. For a case that doesn’t exist. In front of a judge who’s only a character. For a defendant who isn’t even there. In a courthouse that hasn’t been built
Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah. #BALLER
Only one more night until the season premiere, so here’s a grab bag of Franklin & Bash greatest hits from the most Franklin & Bash episodes to ever Franklin & Bash. Oh man, this is just like the jungle juice at the commune, only in sick word form, bro. We’ll see you back here later, and chill that appetite over at our Franklin & Bash history page. Updated, bro!
From the classic “650 to SLC,”
STAKES RAISED, HEART RIPPED OUT. Infeld tells Franklin and Bash that he only hired them because “they were the most notorious attorneys in the country” and to ward off hostile takeovers on account of how much he thought Franklin and Bash sucked.
Broseph, at this point in the show, you probably poured out your Senor Frog’s mug of Coors Lite. Because that is harsh bro-on-bro crime, Infeld. Too harsh. I don’t see any way Franklin and Bash are gonna get out of this one.
HOW FRANKLIN AND BASH GOT OUT OF THIS ONE: Pure Franklin and Bash, bro. See, since they’re just a joke, they decide to tag along as equity partners on the plane to Utah. But they’re not no button-down equity partners, yo. Nope, they start crushing Jack and Coke, and pretty soon they’re playing dice and spraying champagne over the coach cabin, which is TOTALLY EXPLICABLY filled with cheerleaders. As expected, this causes the FAA to ground the plane, and thus makes the vote for firm takeover impossible, because the vote can’t happen if they’re not in Utah (“Frank, the story is Utah“). Plus they would vote no because Franklin and Bash are Just. Too. Wild. Who’s a sellout now, underlying theme? Problem is solved, all Infeld’s gotta do is bail out Franklin and Bash and Margarita party is at the commune and this time the whole firm’s invited because Franklin & Bash didn’t mean to exclude y’all, they just didn’t know, and the party’s gonna be off the hook, and guess what, Franklin and Bash are for real. Like we didn’t know, fool.
From “Waiting on a Friend,” when Franklin & Bash may or may not have saved womanhood (spoiler: Yup, they did) and retired for YOU KNOW IT a party at the commune.
COMMUNE PARTY ALARM (1). A tender moment for Franklin and Bash and Carmen and Pindar, the fearsome foursome who comprised a supremely unprofitable and unethical ambulance chasing firm before it was bought part and parcel by Stanton Infeld. Now clear of this week’s danger, Franklin and Bash pay tribute to their underlings. Behind that door is 100 friends, six jacuzzis, 35 g-strings, a trained seal, Franklin’s girlfriend and a band that covers only L.A. Guns. Actually, it might be L.A. Guns. But inside? It’s all heart, because friends make Franklin & Bash possible.
And finally from the time Franklin & Bash saved Rock and Roll and stomped out the man and FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK WE SALUTE YOU
HOPELESS SITUATIONS. (1) Franklin, you did it now, man. You ruined rock and roll. *curls fist* Luckily, Franklin’s ruling in favor of THE MAN and against MOZZANI’S legendary rock and roll club isn’t gonna stand. I know it, you can hardly believe Judge Franklin ruled poorly. Luckily he’s only judge for a day and now he’s back to being a lawyer and he’s convinced he and Bash should save Mozzani’s from Big Bad Voodoo Corporate Daddy. But not so fast, Franklin and Bash. It’s pretty steep odds. Only hope is that there’s some sort of technicality.
THERE’S A TECHNICALITY. (1) Obscure ruling, but technically since Young Mozzani’s name was on the lease, it is technically possible to technically appeal Franklin’s own ruling by filing a civil case technically seeking injunction against the worst, cartoony, over-the-top villain in TV history. Luckily, nothing technically prevents Franklin from appealing and serving as counsel arguing against the ruling he technically issued. Just technical, man. Even more luckily, the only evidence they technically need is a phone that Carmen technically stole. “Your honor, in defense against this corporate guy, who’s really bad, and because we need to save rock and roll, I enter this stolen phone into evidence.” I’LL ALLOW IT.
Franklin and Bash return tomorrow night. We know, YOU’LL ALLOW IT.
Franklin & Bash Greatest Hits

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/franklin-bash-and-the-mixed-bag-of-life-franklin-bash-greatest-hits/

Franklin & Bash and The Mixed Bag of Life [Franklin & Bash Greatest Hits]

Well, it's a summons. For a case that doesn't exist. In front of a judge who's only a character. For a defendant who isn't even there. In a courthouse that hasn't been built!

Well, it’s a summons. For a case that doesn’t exist. In front of a judge who’s only a character. For a defendant who isn’t even there. In a courthouse that hasn’t been built

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah. #BALLER

Only one more night until the season premiere, so here’s a grab bag of Franklin & Bash greatest hits from the most Franklin & Bash episodes to ever Franklin & Bash. Oh man, this is just like the jungle juice at the commune, only in sick word form, bro. We’ll see you back here later, and chill that appetite over at our Franklin & Bash history page. Updated, bro!

From the classic “650 to SLC,”

misconduct-is-how-we-roll-broSTAKES RAISED, HEART RIPPED OUT. Infeld tells Franklin and Bash that he only hired them because “they were the most notorious attorneys in the country” and to ward off hostile takeovers on account of how much he thought Franklin and Bash sucked.

Broseph, at this point in the show, you probably poured out your Senor Frog’s mug of Coors Lite. Because that is harsh bro-on-bro crime, Infeld. Too harsh. I don’t see any way Franklin and Bash are gonna get out of this one.

HOW FRANKLIN AND BASH GOT OUT OF THIS ONE: Pure Franklin and Bash, bro. See, since they’re just a joke, they decide to tag along as equity partners on the plane to Utah. But they’re not no button-down equity partners, yo. Nope, they start crushing Jack and Coke, and pretty soon they’re playing dice and spraying champagne over the coach cabin, which is TOTALLY EXPLICABLY filled with cheerleaders. As expected, this causes the FAA to ground the plane, and thus makes the vote for firm takeover impossible, because the vote can’t happen if they’re not in Utah (“Frank, the story is Utah“). Plus they would vote no because Franklin and Bash are Just. Too. Wild. Who’s a sellout now, underlying theme? Problem is solved, all Infeld’s gotta do is bail out Franklin and Bash and Margarita party is at the commune and this time the whole firm’s invited because Franklin & Bash didn’t mean to exclude y’all, they just didn’t know, and the party’s gonna be off the hook, and guess what, Franklin and Bash are for real. Like we didn’t know, fool.

um whatFrom “Waiting on a Friend,” when Franklin & Bash may or may not have saved womanhood (spoiler: Yup, they did) and retired for YOU KNOW IT a party at the commune.

COMMUNE PARTY ALARM (1). A tender moment for Franklin and Bash and Carmen and Pindar, the fearsome foursome who comprised a supremely unprofitable and unethical ambulance chasing firm before it was bought part and parcel by Stanton Infeld. Now clear of this week’s danger, Franklin and Bash pay tribute to their underlings. Behind that door is 100 friends, six jacuzzis, 35 g-strings, a trained seal, Franklin’s girlfriend and a band that covers only L.A. Guns. Actually, it might be L.A. Guns. But inside? It’s all heart, because friends make Franklin & Bash possible.

And finally from the time Franklin & Bash saved Rock and Roll and stomped out the man and FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK WE SALUTE YOU

bash franklin on roadHOPELESS SITUATIONS. (1) Franklin, you did it now, man. You ruined rock and roll. *curls fist* Luckily, Franklin’s ruling in favor of THE MAN and against MOZZANI’S legendary rock and roll club isn’t gonna stand. I know it, you can hardly believe Judge Franklin ruled poorly. Luckily he’s only judge for a day and now he’s back to being a lawyer and he’s convinced he and Bash should save Mozzani’s from Big Bad Voodoo Corporate Daddy. But not so fast, Franklin and Bash. It’s pretty steep odds. Only hope is that there’s some sort of technicality.

THERE’S A TECHNICALITY. (1) Obscure ruling, but technically since Young Mozzani’s name was on the lease, it is technically possible to technically appeal Franklin’s own ruling by filing a civil case technically seeking injunction against the worst, cartoony, over-the-top villain in TV history. Luckily, nothing technically prevents Franklin from appealing and serving as counsel arguing against the ruling he technically issued. Just technical, man. Even more luckily, the only evidence they technically need is a phone that Carmen technically stole. “Your honor, in defense against this corporate guy, who’s really bad, and because we need to save rock and roll, I enter this stolen phone into evidence.” I’LL ALLOW IT.

Franklin and Bash return tomorrow night. We know, YOU’LL ALLOW IT.

Franklin & Bash Greatest Hits

F and B docket season 4

Filed under Breckin Meyer Franklin & Bash Franklin and Bash Greatest Hits I'll Allow It Mark-Paul Gosselaar Recaps TNT TV TV Recaps We Know Drama

0 notes

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/franklin-bash-go-to-the-show-franklin-bashs-greatest-hits/Franklin & Bash Go To The Show [Franklin & Bash’s Greatest Hits]Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah. 

One of the recent episodes to ascend to canonical Franklin & Bash was the un-aptly titled “Control.” Spoiler alert. It’s about “THE SHOW!”
“THE SHOW” MENTIONS (6). Well, this week’s episode surrounds baseball, and in particular minor-leaguers for the L.A. Stars. The two principal relief pitchers are each trying to get to the big leagues. Er, ‘scuse me, “THE SHOW.” So, every time someone is talking about MLB, they call it the show. The announcer knows Aaron Hill is headed to The Show. Aaron Hill is crushed he didn’t make it to The Show. Bash is certain this guy committed the crime so he could make it to The Show. The announcer thinks everyone “has got the goods to make it to the show!” Enough already! And how did they not title the episode “The Show?” ARGH. Stop calling your arms ‘guns!’

WHERE FRANKLIN WAS: Anyway, Bash, stop staring at that screengrab of Hall Pass, ‘cause here’s the plan. Boom, we get to the Heckler. We’ll invite him in, threaten him with ipso facto rediracto and all of a sudden he thinks we’re bluffing. BOOM, intellectual property, son. You think these awesome heckling jokes are yours? Nope, someone hired you, so they own your jokes. Your precious, precious jokes. Ha! Bet you didn’t know about Not a Chance vs. Never Happen, where every comedy club everywhere had rights to Louis CK and Steve Martin’s jokes because they performed there on a Tuesday. Anyway, go, run out the door, we know you’re gonna go confront Longhair Tim, and ERMAGERD like we said, he loves being interviewed by hottie announcer on his way to the show, so obvs the camera still rolls, and boom, alliance proved, case dismissed, HE’S going to the show, and HE’S going to the show, and WE’RE going to the show, and NOPE, you’re not. Case dismissed! Or won. Whatever, legal stuff.

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/franklin-bash-go-to-the-show-franklin-bashs-greatest-hits/

Franklin & Bash Go To The Show [Franklin & Bash’s Greatest Hits]

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah.

IMG_1154.JPG

One of the recent episodes to ascend to canonical Franklin & Bash was the un-aptly titled “Control.” Spoiler alert. It’s about “THE SHOW!”

“THE SHOW” MENTIONS (6). Well, this week’s episode surrounds baseball, and in particular minor-leaguers for the L.A. Stars. The two principal relief pitchers are each trying to get to the big leagues. Er, ‘scuse me, “THE SHOW.” So, every time someone is talking about MLB, they call it the show. The announcer knows Aaron Hill is headed to The Show. Aaron Hill is crushed he didn’t make it to The Show. Bash is certain this guy committed the crime so he could make it to The Show. The announcer thinks everyone “has got the goods to make it to the show!” Enough already! And how did they not title the episode “The Show?” ARGH. Stop calling your arms ‘guns!’

IMG_1153.JPG

WHERE FRANKLIN WAS: Anyway, Bash, stop staring at that screengrab of Hall Pass, ‘cause here’s the plan. Boom, we get to the Heckler. We’ll invite him in, threaten him with ipso facto rediracto and all of a sudden he thinks we’re bluffing. BOOM, intellectual property, son. You think these awesome heckling jokes are yours? Nope, someone hired you, so they own your jokes. Your precious, precious jokes. Ha! Bet you didn’t know about Not a Chance vs. Never Happen, where every comedy club everywhere had rights to Louis CK and Steve Martin’s jokes because they performed there on a Tuesday. Anyway, go, run out the door, we know you’re gonna go confront Longhair Tim, and ERMAGERD like we said, he loves being interviewed by hottie announcer on his way to the show, so obvs the camera still rolls, and boom, alliance proved, case dismissed, HE’S going to the show, and HE’S going to the show, and WE’RE going to the show, and NOPE, you’re not. Case dismissed! Or won. Whatever, legal stuff.

IMG_1152.JPG

Filed under Breckin Meyer Canon Franklin & Bash Franklin and Bash Greatest Hits Jared Franklin Mark-Paul Gosselaar MLB Peter Bash peter bash plays guitar The Show The Unit TNT We Know Drama

0 notes

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/the-enduring-lesson-of-franklin-bash-franklin-bash-greatest-hits/The Enduring Lesson of Franklin & Bash  [Franklin & Bash Greatest Hits]Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans….

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah. From last year’s season finale, we revisit The Enduring Lesson of Franklin & Bash:
ENDURING LESSON OF FRANKLIN & BASH. Our American judicial system is imperfect, sure bro, but hear me out. If only our courtrooms didn’t tie up a bunch of time in procedure and language and due process and amendments and quid pro quos and basically tons of boring stuff. Because honestly if you just allow lawyers to re-enact every single event in question using tricks and showmanship and oh my gosh that big fan was just sitting RIGHT THERE, judge, how can you not let us use it to blow the evidence in the exact manner it may have possibly happen just to show you guys we’re wasting time! That’s the lesson. Justice will be served, if all fact patterns are reconstructed as vaudeville show. It’s almost so damn simple! What this calls for is a zany scheme. Your honor, permission to re-enact? Again?
ENDURING LESSON OF FRANKLIN & BASH, PART II. Sure looked like the stakes were raised when all of Franklin & Bash’s snide comments were on video and they were dead to rights in a deposition. BUT WAIT, obviously anyone can get out of any allegation just by coming up with a quick sketch that completely flips the tables. Don’t come clean, just pretend to follow the rules and then all of a sudden BOOM! Camera footage that totally proves your St. Elmo’s Fire-sized crush on Rob Lowe, so obviously this thing was a scam and luckily our little skit proved your nefarious scheme, son. Ya just got served, ‘cept we proved there’s no more need for court, just fake it till you make it, hide under some coats, and wait until Thursday when it’s END OF THE SUMMER BASH AT MALIBU SANDS O HELLS TO THE YEAH. “Bash, did we come through AGAIN?” “Sure did, Franklin, now order seven hundred pizzas and where did we put the four kegs of Blue Moon. Also here’s a song I wrote, it’s called Charlie, and it’s pretty much Crash Into Me, just in a different key.”

PREVIOUSLYFranklin & Bash Are MagiciansFranklin & Bash – The Docket

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/the-enduring-lesson-of-franklin-bash-franklin-bash-greatest-hits/

The Enduring Lesson of Franklin & Bash [Franklin & Bash Greatest Hits]

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans….

IMG_1150.JPG

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah. From last year’s season finale, we revisit The Enduring Lesson of Franklin & Bash:

ENDURING LESSON OF FRANKLIN & BASH. Our American judicial system is imperfect, sure bro, but hear me out. If only our courtrooms didn’t tie up a bunch of time in procedure and language and due process and amendments and quid pro quos and basically tons of boring stuff. Because honestly if you just allow lawyers to re-enact every single event in question using tricks and showmanship and oh my gosh that big fan was just sitting RIGHT THERE, judge, how can you not let us use it to blow the evidence in the exact manner it may have possibly happen just to show you guys we’re wasting time! That’s the lesson. Justice will be served, if all fact patterns are reconstructed as vaudeville show. It’s almost so damn simple! What this calls for is a zany scheme. Your honor, permission to re-enact? Again?

ENDURING LESSON OF FRANKLIN & BASH, PART II. Sure looked like the stakes were raised when all of Franklin & Bash’s snide comments were on video and they were dead to rights in a deposition. BUT WAIT, obviously anyone can get out of any allegation just by coming up with a quick sketch that completely flips the tables. Don’t come clean, just pretend to follow the rules and then all of a sudden BOOM! Camera footage that totally proves your St. Elmo’s Fire-sized crush on Rob Lowe, so obviously this thing was a scam and luckily our little skit proved your nefarious scheme, son. Ya just got served, ‘cept we proved there’s no more need for court, just fake it till you make it, hide under some coats, and wait until Thursday when it’s END OF THE SUMMER BASH AT MALIBU SANDS O HELLS TO THE YEAH. “Bash, did we come through AGAIN?” “Sure did, Franklin, now order seven hundred pizzas and where did we put the four kegs of Blue Moon. Also here’s a song I wrote, it’s called Charlie, and it’s pretty much Crash Into Me, just in a different key.”

IMG_1150-0.JPG

PREVIOUSLY
Franklin & Bash Are Magicians
Franklin & Bash – The Docket

Filed under Breckin Meyer Drama Franklin & Bash Franklin and Bash Greatest Hits Mark-Paul Gosselaar peter bash plays guitar TNT TV Recaps We Know Drama

0 notes

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/franklin-bash-are-magicians-greatest-hits/Franklin & Bash Are Magicians [Greatest Hits]Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans….

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah. From last year’s season premiere: 
AMERICA’S DREAM FULFILLED (1). Hour one featured that scene of magician Adam Goldberg arguing with himself playing his twin magician sibling thief, in case you wondered where to send that Emmy award.
FRANKLIN & BASH ARE MAGICIANS. So we’ve got a clear-cut case of mistaken identity or grand theft or whatever, only Adam Goldberg can’t reveal his secret twin or it totes reveals his act so obviously we gotta find his secret twin, who’s out drinking in public but never recognized even though he’s identical. ANYWAY, Heather says we can’t talk to Adam so we don’t but we can talk to his twin so that’s what we do and soon we’re boozing at the bar and day drinking, amirite, son? But MOREOVER, your honor, the magician’s code takes precedence owing to the numerous episodes of Harry Stone and Night Court so what this case calls for is a clear strategy of a twin impersonating his other twin and returning the stolen property or not this whole time but seriously ladies and jurors and hotties what is reasonable doubt (uh oh) but skepticism that the crime even happened (no) and what is real magic but (oh god) our justice system (you didn’t) and your service to the court (please don’t) and most of all, you. Like I said, law is magic, hocus pocus, presto, abracadabra, our magician is actually his twin and perhaps ipso facto the bracelet you thought was stolen was actually on her wrist all along whaaaaaat? OUR WORK HERE IS DONE.”
and, one more bonus STILL NOT A FRANKLIN AND BASH TAGLINE:
“Come on, you answered before seeing my huge deck.”
WE KNOW DRAMA, FRANKLIN & BASH, ON TNT!
Franklin & Bash – and THE DOCKET – return August 13. The most fun you’ll ever have reading recaps, ever, for real. Ha. Classic.
Franklin & Bash: Coffee & CreamFranklin & Bash at MFG

Now posted on http://www.misterfadedglory.com/2014/08/franklin-bash-are-magicians-greatest-hits/

Franklin & Bash Are Magicians [Greatest Hits]

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans….

IMG_1134-1.JPG

Leading up to the return of our heroes, Mister Faded Glory celebrates three seasons of sick legal shenanigans, totes cray beach parties, and classic burns from THE DOCKET, brah. From last year’s season premiere:

AMERICA’S DREAM FULFILLED (1). Hour one featured that scene of magician Adam Goldberg arguing with himself playing his twin magician sibling thief, in case you wondered where to send that Emmy award.

FRANKLIN & BASH ARE MAGICIANS. So we’ve got a clear-cut case of mistaken identity or grand theft or whatever, only Adam Goldberg can’t reveal his secret twin or it totes reveals his act so obviously we gotta find his secret twin, who’s out drinking in public but never recognized even though he’s identical. ANYWAY, Heather says we can’t talk to Adam so we don’t but we can talk to his twin so that’s what we do and soon we’re boozing at the bar and day drinking, amirite, son? But MOREOVER, your honor, the magician’s code takes precedence owing to the numerous episodes of Harry Stone and Night Court so what this case calls for is a clear strategy of a twin impersonating his other twin and returning the stolen property or not this whole time but seriously ladies and jurors and hotties what is reasonable doubt (uh oh) but skepticism that the crime even happened (no) and what is real magic but (oh god) our justice system (you didn’t) and your service to the court (please don’t) and most of all, you. Like I said, law is magic, hocus pocus, presto, abracadabra, our magician is actually his twin and perhaps ipso facto the bracelet you thought was stolen was actually on her wrist all along whaaaaaat? OUR WORK HERE IS DONE.”

and, one more bonus STILL NOT A FRANKLIN AND BASH TAGLINE:

“Come on, you answered before seeing my huge deck.”

WE KNOW DRAMA, FRANKLIN & BASH, ON TNT!

Franklin & Bash – and THE DOCKET – return August 13. The most fun you’ll ever have reading recaps, ever, for real. Ha. Classic.

Franklin & Bash: Coffee & Cream
Franklin & Bash at MFG

IMG_1133.JPG

Filed under adderall Breckin Meyer Franklin & Bash Franklin and Bash Greatest Hits Mark-Paul Gosselaar mpg TNT tongue-in-cheek We Know Drama Zack Morris zany recaps

0 notes

The Grantland Template

1. Read opinion piece by one writer.
2. Ask Grantland editor, either by Text or over cubicle wall: “Hey, did you see this? How can people think that?”
3. Ascribe writer’s opinion piece to “Everyone.”
4. Write piece or record podcast, claiming, “Everyone is saying THIS about THIS, but that’s why we deviate and say THIS.”
5. You may also make corollary claim, “…which NO ONE is talking about.”
6. Repeat ad infinitum.

P.S. Realize that snarky tumblrs use the same misapplied straw-man logic when taking potshots at Grantland. NEVERTHELESS….

Filed under john hanley grantland writing theory straw man sportswriting sports writing adventures in sports writing